Sniff Sesh

Hey, it’s 2/2/22! And no, for your information this post is not some lame metaphorical rumination about taking the time in your life to smell the roses. You shouldn’t judge a stock image by its cover. Sheesh.

It’s about sniffing.

I was leaving a work meeting on Friday, and I was drawn to my “old” Target. The one recently built five minutes from my home is my “new” Target. But since I’m still not in love with the layout, whenever I go in there you can usually find me wandering around in circles muttering, “Where are the candles, where are the candles?”

So on Friday, for old times’ sake, I bopped into my old Target to peruse my favorite aisles.

The stationary section that has all the cool notebooks and pens. It’s vital that I use my “Dream Cart” method in this aisle, because I want to own every single notebook and pen on the face of the Earth. So I cram my cart with journals and pens, perambulate through Target for an hour, taking the time to consider the notebooks and pens in my cart. Then I return to the stationary section and put everything back. It’s all about the rush.

The makeup section that gives space and attention to the lesser known brands. We all known Revlon and Maybelline and Cover Girl, but there are some great makeup brands that don’t get the space they need to become a well-known brand. I love looking at lipsticks, and eye shadows, and blushes, but I rarely buy anything. I’m not really a makeup gal, but it’s fun to consider the brightly colored tubes and palettes.

The rug and door mat section. Call me crazy, but I love throw rugs and doormats when the seasons are changing. Everything right now is pink and coral and yellow, with bunnies and flowers thrown into the mix for good measure. Too fun.

The deodorant section. I love the Native deodorant section. They are one of my affiliates, and I’ve spoken before about my gluttonous collection of Native products. What you don’t know, however, is that I now have such an eclectic collection that I can easily put my seasonal deodorants away. For example, my son bought me a gift pack of three Christmas scents: Christmas cookie, Mistletoe and Candy Cane. They are now stored away until fall, as is Pumpkin Spice.

I have also expanded my repertoire to Native body wash and Native shampoo. Right now I am enjoying the Cucumber and Mint scent, just a clean and invigorating and yummy experience. It makes me happy every time I take a shower.

So on Friday, I was dying to see what new spring scents Native is putting out. Easter Basket? Bunny Hop? Vanilla Buttercream Egg? But when I turned the corner, another girl was there already sniffing the Native products.

Sniffing my products, in my aisle.

How dare she?

But I’m an adult, and if I’m forced to share, share I shall. So I visited the placemat section, the paper products section, the hanger section, all fun in their own way. But every time I circled back, The Sniffer was still there. I saw that she had stopped sniffing deodorants and had started on the body washes and shampoos further down the aisle.

The nerve.

So I didn’t get my Sniff Sesh in. That’s how long she stood there. And she also started looking at me funny, because I kept staring at her in the aisle, and circling her like a predator circles a potential victim. By my last check-in, I had such an attitude about her I knew I would not be in the right frame of mind to even enjoy a Sniff Sesh.

Before I left, by some miracle, there was a promoted product display, and the Cherry Vanilla and Mascarpone deodorant was featured, so I was able to grab it before leaving Target.

And in case you’re wondering, the new spring scents are:

Tie Dye Vanilla Cupcake

Fresh Peach Cupcake

Ginger Lemonade Cupcake

Mint Cookie Cupcake

But I wouldn’t count Native out yet for some really innovative Easter scents. I’ll check back.

Surprise!

It’s the “Lexus in the Driveway With a Big Red Bow on the Top” television commercial season.

 (Proud purchaser leads perfectly dressed and groomed spouse to driveway)

“Close your eyes and don’t look until I say so.”

(Stops perfectly dressed and groomed spouse in front of car)

“Ok, you can look now.”

(Uncovers spouses’s eyes with a flourish and says “Ta dahhhhh!!!”)

“Oh my God!!!!”

(Squealing and celebrating and hugging).

The End. And very cute. But let me parody how it would really go.

(Proud purchaser leads bedraggled spouse to driveway. Spouse has not yet had coffee)

“Don’t look until I say so.”

(Bedraggled spouse sighs impatiently).

“I have to grab a shower before your whole family gets here, and I haven’t even started the turkey, can we get on with this?”

“Hold on, we’re almost there.”

“This had better not be a puppy.”

“You can look now. Ta dahhhhh!!!!!”

“Oh my God!!!!”

(Squealing and celebrating and hugging).

“You like it?”

“Yes, but…how did you afford this?”

“You let me worry about that. Want to take it for a test drive?”

“No, seriously, how did you afford this? Like, how much did you put down?”

“Don’t worry about it. Climb inside, it’s got all the features you love.”

“No, I’m not getting in it until you answer my question. What are the monthly payments? Did you withdraw from your 401k?”

“It’s a gift! Part of the gift is that the particulars do not concern you.”

“Don’t concern me? The particulars don’t concern me? How can you say that? Of course they concern me! I’m concerned, very concerned, that you made a rash purchase without thinking it through clearly or even asking my opinion on it! It would be like surprising me with a puppy. It’s not just a puppy, it’s a lifetime commitment!”

(Purchaser stares at spouse)

“Why are you giving me a hard time?”

“I’m not, it’s just that we owe tuition next month, and I’m wondering if this is really a purchase that is financially feasible right now. I mean, can you still return it?”

(Purchaser stares at bedraggled spouse)

“Return it? Are you serious?”

“Dead serious. It’s a nice gesture, hon, but a little excessive.”

(Purchaser rips bow off the hood).

“Forget it, then. Forget I tried to surprise you with your dream car.”

(Purchaser stalks away towards house, throws bow in yard. Spouse follows)

“And why a red bow? That’s not even my favorite color. Did you pay extra for that?”

The End. Happy Weekend.

No Charge

Last month I bought a pair of sneakers online, and when the shoe box arrived, it held a soft, baby blue shoe bag. I was touched by the gesture, although confused.

What kind of psychopath stores her stinky running sneakers in a cashmere shoe bag? Was this an upper echelon of society I had heretofore not been exposed to? Was this akin to George eating his Snickers with a knife and fork?

I visited a specialty Italian food store, and after I made my purchase, the cashier handed me a thick grocery bag with generous handles.

“Thank you for shopping with us.”

I looked at her, then looked at the bag. I twirled it around, mesmerized by the thick canvas feel of it and their store insignia blazoned on the front. It was the nicest grocery bag I had ever been handed.

I bought a pair of earrings for a small gift swap I will be attending, and the jewelry counter attendant placed them into a luxurious red leather box, and wrapped the box in thick fancy wrapping with a bow on top. I didn’t even ask her to gift wrap it.

“Thank you,” I said nonplussed. She just grinned at me knowingly, like she knew something I didn’t.

Oh, you bet she did.

I bought my sons some gifts at Dick’s Sporting Goods. Nothing outrageous, just some golf stuff, cool clothes, the normal fare. My eyes popped out of my head at the final total.

“Are you sure that’s right?” I asked the cashier. “Did you multiply that by pi?”

The young girl looked at me strangely, then at the total on the register. “No, it’s right.”

“Is that total in złoty?”

Her face was blank. “Huh?”

“Never mind. Did you enter my discount?”

“Yes,” she said. “Sorry. But feel free to grab as many gift boxes as you want when you exit the store.” I followed her gesture towards huge crates piled to the ceiling and filled with every size box imaginable.

I challenged her. “I can have as many as I want?”

“Yes.”

“Can I have 9?”

“Sure.”

“12?”

“Yep.”

“How about 20?”

She raised her eyebrows.

“Ma’am, you can have as many boxes as you want.”

Ah, yes. There it was. Stores are famously stingy with their gift boxes during the holidays, so it would seem that this has been the catch all along. Everything is so expensive right now, merchants are throwing these beautiful packages, boxes and bags in for “nothing.” Because they’re overcharging for everything.

I don’t have a problem with them trying to make money, I just want them to know that I know, and that I informed you, and now you know.  

You know?

Tubs

Everything in my body and soul rebels at the thought of having to decorate for Christmas next week.

I don’t want to take my gourds off my mantel. I don’t want to store away my pumpkin brulee candles, or my fall door wreath, or the “May Your Pumpkins Always Be Plump” sign in the powder room. I like coming downstairs in the morning and seeing my orange and beige mantel decorations, the pinecone centerpiece on my dining room table, and my scarecrow kitchen hand towels. I’m not done looking at them yet, they still bring me so much joy.

Drat. I hate storing fall away for a whole year, we get so little of it in Jersey as it is.

But the crazy “We might as well get the decorations up now while it’s warm” people are out in full-force, and I have to agree with them. Getting Christmas decorations up and over with is the only way to go. And as many mothers know, especially single mothers, getting your kids to bring down those Christmas decorations out of the attic over Thanksgiving weekend is key to Christmas decorating success.  

Tubs. Freaking tubs. So. Many. Freaking. Tubs.

My boys bring my red and green Christmas tubs down in an organized fashion on Black Friday. I play Christmas music to put them in the spirit, and try to have something delicious bubbling in the crockpot, to make the day as festive as possible. The older they get the busier they are, so finding time when all three are home gets tougher every year. Luckily the Friday after Thanksgiving seems to be ubiquitous in its generosity of time, and if they work quickly, the process barely takes an hour.

For Tub Removal Day, each boy has a role, and who does what switches from year to year. The first boy is the Surveyor. The Surveyor stands in the attic and assesses what tubs need to come down and which ones don’t. The Surveyor has to make sure he doesn’t step through the floor, so the position comes with a high degree of authority and surefootedness. The Surveyor gets to say arrogant things like, “I’m in charge, just do your menial job,” and “Don’t question me, just do as I ask,” and, “Because I said so” without fearing brotherly recrimination. The Surveyor slides the tubs down to the Accepter, who waits at the bottom of the steps.

The Accepter, while being the easiest job of the three, is fraught with danger because very heavy tubs are being slid towards his face. But this is a popular job, because all The Accepter has to do is accept the hand-off from the Surveyor and try not to get his nose broken. As the Surveyor slides the plastic tub down the attic steps toward The Acceptor, The Surveyor might say something along the lines of, “This is a heavy one,” or “Light one here, must be the stockings,” or “Yo, grab this one from the base.” The Acceptor accepts the tubs, says some version of “Got it” with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and hands them off to the third boy, the Runner.

The job of the Runner is the most physically demanding, as he has to take each tub down the stairs and deposit it on the living room floor. The Runner’s annual goal is to bring the tubs down as quickly as possible so that he can run back up the stairs and feign boredom by looking at his phone. The Runner likes to say things like, “I’m back, you guys are so slow,” and “Could we move this along, some of us have lives,” and “What’s next, let’s go, let’s go, let’s gooooooo!” The Runner had for many years been my youngest, as his big brothers convinced him when he was a small child that The Runner role was “the coolest,” and he should do it because he was “the fastest.” Circa his middle-school years he was on to them, and he stopped “running.”

Many years I find it ironic that my oldest son chooses to be The Surveyor, my middle son chooses The Acceptor, and my youngest agrees to be The Runner. It’s almost like the chronological pecking order naturally distributes itself in the actual process.

Once the tubs are down, the responsibility falls to The Organizer, aka Mom, to place all of the  decorations in the annual spot, and then find somewhere to store the tubs. Usually that “somewhere” is the mechanical room, which is where the tubs stay until the first week of January, when the process starts all over again, only this time in reverse.

Just like life.

Gift Smarter, Not Harder

One Christmas many years ago, I unwrapped a gift from my late husband and saw the inscription on the box:

Pajama-Gram.

I was stoked, because he had remembered that I had asked for pajamas for Christmas. I eagerly pulled the contents out of the box and just sat there staring.

“Whattya think? You like ‘em?”

His happiness and enthusiasm over having bought me something he knew I liked was endearing, and of course I told him I looooooved my new pajamas.

I tried after that, through the years, to wear them in front of him so he would see that I appreciated his gift. But I always had to take them off after a few hours, and inevitably, I donated them with the tags still, new and barely worn.

Why?

They were heavy fleece footie pajamas. I get hot in 55 degrees. I barely wear a coat. I haven’t worn my heavy duty Uggs in years, because it doesn’t get cold enough here, and my feet sweat. I worried that if I wore these fleece jammies anywhere other than, say, Antarctica, that I would be found in my bed in the morning, melted into a gooey puddle of middle-aged estrogen.

It was a sweet gift, but it amazed me that after twenty winters of fighting over the thermostat (he wanted it up, I wanted it down), after twenty years of arguing over the car heater (he wanted it blasting, I wanted it off), after twenty years of him listening to me complain about heat and humidity, that he would have thought the one thing I wanted in my life was to be forcibly jammed into a woolen straitjacket.

Gift-giving can be daunting, but thanks to my dear friend Ingrid Fetell Lee, here are some tips to make the gift-giving season a little easier:

Give something living. Plants reduce stress and add a bit of timeless joy to any space. Try The Sill.

Give something abundant. My youngest son was addicted to Utz Cheese Balls when he was young, so one Christmas I bought him that huge Utz tub of cheese balls. He kept it in his room, and inevitably finished it. Your brother likes avocados? Buy him a bag of them. Your son likes golf balls? Get him a bucket. Your daughter likes fuzzy socks? Buy her a cute tote bag, and fill it up.

Give something that creates time and space. A voucher for car detailing. A gift card for housecleaning. A flight upgrade to first-class.

Give something that makes a tough time easier. A book light, a birdfeeder, a scented candle, crystals.

Give something handmade. Two Christmases ago I typed up all of my father’s handwritten educational stories that he had entrusted to me, had them bound into a spiral notebook, and gave one to each member of the family. Big hit.

Give something that offers a moment of surprise or enchantment. Go on Goldbelly, already. You won’t regret it once you hear the “Wooooooow”s.

Give something that helps create memories. A digital frame, a vacation, a restaurant gift card.

Give something you love. Are there books you’ve read recently that you’d love to discuss with this person? Do you have a special recipe you could share? A tool you’ve discovered that makes life so much easier? Do you have special knowledge of new gadgets, wines, etc.? 

And remember the rules. Don’t preach and don’t assume. Don’t get her a Peloton unless she asked for it, some women get touchy about that. If you’re not sure of her size, don’t size up to a double XXL, unless you want to get a dirty look. Avoid getting alcohol unless you know the person, and don’t give out gifts with your logo. It’s cheesy.

Oh, give cheese. Everyone loves cheese. Just make sure they’re not lactose intolerant.

Early Gift Guide

FINE, I’ll post a gift guide. I still say it’s too damn early, but since supply chain stores are iffy, and people are shopping earlier than usual, I’ll do my part.

Snif Candles Collection ($120.00). Interesting sales gimmick: keep the free mini-candles to try ’em out, send the large candles back of the scents you don’t like. Super pretty and unique.

FLIKR Personal Fireplace ($99). Great for small spaces, or for people who don’t have a fireplace. Super cute.

Sophie Lou Jacobsen Bloom Teapot ($75). Quirky and colorful teapot for your quirky, colorful tea-drinking friend.

Slow Down Studio Jug Coffee Mugs ($85). Yes, you’re seeing right. $85 for a coffee mug. But they’re pretty sexy, and sold in four colors: Butter, Chartreuse, Deep Blue & Lavender. This is a gift for the true coffee lover in your life, and they will appreciate the hell out of you when they unwrap it. I’m getting one for myself as soon as I decide on a color. I’m thinking lavender.

Emu Australia Mayberry Rainbow Slippers ($70). We all know Emu copied UGG. Nevertheless, you can’t get cuter than these lil’ fuzzy slippers. Made from Australian sheepskin.

Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin — A Game of Stories ($40). I played this at a friend’s house last winter, and we had a blast. It’s based on Esther Perel’s podcast, “Where Do We Begin?” and introduces playfulness and storytelling into your next date or dinner party. Fun stocking stuffer.

Fredericks & Mae Rainbow Playing Cards ($15). Who can resist brightly-colored playing cards for that price? Another great stocking stuffer.

Bartesian Premium Cocktail Machine ($350). Whether you absolutely love a good drink or want to level up your hosting game, the Bartesian Premium Cocktail and Margarita Machine is such a fun gift. You can create endless craft cocktails in the comfort of your home in just minutes. Just pop in a Bartesian cocktail concentrate pod, like a Keurig, and the machine will combine the appropriate spirit with water and adjust the concentration levels according to your preference and dispense it into your glass. No measuring or mess; the machine does everything for you.” — Anvita Reddy.

Smeg 4×4 Slice Toaster ($260). My toaster is dead on one side, and I’m dying to get one of these cool baby-blue (or red, or putty, or pastel green…) Williams Sonoma toasters. I’m trying to decide if $260 is too rich for my blood. I mean, for $260, does it butter your toast FOR you? Nevertheless, I yearn for this toaster.

Loftie Alarm Clock ($149). This alarm clock is the push you need to get your cell phone out of your bedroom. It has a calming wake-up sound and comes with built-in sleep meditations, breathing exercises, and white noise, and you can connect it to your favorite playlists and podcasts.

Happy Shopping!

Graveyard Shift

It’s Spook Season, ya’ll!

I traveled extensively last fall, so I wasn’t home for Halloween 2020. But since Halloween falls on a Sunday this year, my boys have received the ultimatum: if they’re around to help, we’ll go all out with the yard and house. If they’re not around, I’m leaving town for greener pastures.

They’re in. We’ve been doing some research on the hottest animatronics out there for Halloween 2021, so here’s some fun things you might see in our yard this year:

(Note: Wait until the last minute for animatronics in order to get the best price. These animatronics will go down by 40% if you hold out until the week before Halloween. If you want to stock up for next year, they’ll go down 80% on November 1st)

The Caretaker, Spirit of Halloween ($209.99). I don’t know what’s going on with Spirit animatronics the last few years, the quality has really gone down. But this Caretaker is the highlight of their 2021 line. He’s six-feet tall with light-up yellow eyes, and holding a shovel. His voice-over is fantastic, and as he speaks his mouth moves and his arms raise and lower the shovel.

Grandinroad Animated Floating Broom (($69.50). These are going quick, so if you like it, grab it. It’s super cute, and not too scary for wee tikes.

Rabid Girl by Horror Dome ($2,850). We have just discovered The Horror Dome, and now we realize where all of the quality animatronics are hiding. This price tag obviously would be for a professionally-run haunted house or attraction, but I wanted to share what quality scares look like. Rabid Girl is a Shocktronic, which means it starts out as an animatronic, but you need an actor to jump out at the end. Quality stuff.

Clawing Cathy by Horror Dome ($119.99). We love a good smoky graveyard scene at this house, so she will definitely be a major part of our display.

Crashing Witch on a Tree Inflatable by Wayfair ($41.99). People love their inflatables, and while we are not a fan of them, this one is super cute and reasonably-priced.

Swinging Skeleton Boy from Halloween Express ($179.99). We love this skeleton boy and he has already gone down 40%. In another two weeks, it’ll be down another 20%.

Wailing Phantom from Oriental Trading Company ($299.98). The 7-foot tall phantom features the new incredible light-up Digiteyes (patent pending) digital moving eyes that appear to look around and open and close. His tortured face with moving mouth says a haunting phrase, and his torso rises and lowers while his head sways side to side.

Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton from Design Toscano ($175). He hangs on your wall by keyhole slots, and he’s handcrafted.

Tomorrow: Some delicious fall treats!

Target Fall Refresh

(Two notes: One, I was emailed not-so-politely that I forgot one reason why a wealthy woman would take up with a not-so-wealthy man: love. Point noted. And two, sorry for the pop-up ads on my site now- it’s a necessary evil right now, so if it discourages you from reading my daily posts, it’s your loss. Har har).

I got to Target the other day without my wallet, and only $100 in cash. I was bummed, because it was my “Fall Home Refresh” trip, and I had been looking forward to it. I considered going home to fetch my wallet and returning later, or leaving and coming back another day.

Then I turned off my car.

“No,” I thought, “I can do this. I can give my home a perky fall refresh for $100.”

So here are a few things I got from Target that for only $100 bucks injected a refreshing shot of fall into my home:

Pumpkin Brulee candle. $10.00. Smells heavenly and small enough to fit on the windowsill of my powder room.

Pumpkin-themed bath rugs. $10.00. I purchased 2, one for each bathroom. They are so sweet and pretty, and plush underfoot.

That takes me to $30.00, for the mathematically-impaired. JK!

Faux-Bleached Wheat Grass Plant Wreath. This is $34.99, but I rationalized it because I had a $20 Target gift card. So it was only $14.99.

At $45.00 now.

Autumn Harvest in Rustic Wooden-Box Centerpiece. The most expensive piece in my trip at $43.74, on sale from $49.99. Really perks up my mantel.

Now I’m at $88.74.

Plush Owl Figurine. I mean, how cute is he for $5? He’s sitting near my stack of books and research, because he looks so darn smart in his glasses.

$93.74. I can afford one more thing.

Mrs. Meyers Clean Day Acorn Scented Hand Soap. YUM, for $3.99.

There you have it. Didn’t think I could do it, did ja? Ye of little faith.

Little But Fierce

Yesterday, in a heated discussion with my class about a non-fiction essay on the Pied Piper of Tucson, I posted this question:

“But have you acknowledged the counter-argument?”

Then a voice in my head piped up.

“Bitch, have YOU?”

Yikes. Fine. So it turns out that some wealthy women who date “hobosexuals” go into the relationships with their eyes and hearts open. I mean, the most famous hobosexual in the world is MacKenzie Scott’s new husband, Dan Jewett. MacKenzie is worth what, 58 billion?

And he’s a high school science teacher. WAS a high school science teacher.

But who cares, right? MacKenzie is happy, Dan is happy. She has money, he doesn’t, and they’re fine with that. Dan is a “great guy,” and he’s “going to work tirelessly with MacKenzie to give away most of that money to philanthropic agencies.”

How generous of him to work so hard to spend Jeff’s money.

Kidding aside, the selfie I found of them is cute. They look like a couple who shop at Trader Joe’s on Sundays, spend hours in REI looking for the perfect hiking poles, and carve decoy ducks in log cabins.

The strange sociological phenomenon of “Hobosexuals and the Women Who Love Them” fascinates me almost as much as that of older men dating super young girls. So I decided to contact an editor at Pop Sugar, and ask her what in the world these women could be thinking.

“Is it me?” I asked her. “What wealthy woman with high self-esteem would keep a man?”

It’s you, she said. But I get your reservations. Let’s brainstorm.

So here are the top five reasons we came up with why a wealthy woman would hook up with a man of limited means:

  1. Money is not an issue to her. Like MacKenzie probably figures, who really cares? She has money, he doesn’t, and since she ain’t gonna find anyone with more money than she has, anyone is fair game. She was already married to the richest man in the world, so she’s already experienced that type of power.
  2. She’s lonely. Loneliness is a bitch, especially for women who are afraid to be alone. Oftentimes women settle for less than they think they deserve, because it’s better than spending national holidays alone.
  3. She has low self-esteem. She’s tired of her friends and family flaunting their boyfriends and husbands in her face on Facebook and at parties, and wants someone to flaunt, too. Who cares if he’s broke?
  4. She doesn’t equate male power with financial success. Tough nut to crack, and good for her. Some of us do.
  5. She likes the power. She likes being in charge of finances, calling the shots, wielding the power of her bank book. She certainly doesn’t like being submissive to men.

Again, good for her. Some of us do. You know, in the fun way.

Boats, Games and Ice Barrels

Whatcha got going on this weekend? Our family is flirting with perhaps a long (or short) boat ride to the Cove, a new horror movie opening, maybe some spirited games of Clue? My youngest is getting ready to head back to campus next week, so there’s that chaos. I have a few new recipes I want to try out, some swimming to do, and lots of research, schoolwork and organizing to finish.

Here are twelve yummy things we are loving for the weekend here at Chrysalis Collective:

“Modern Love” Season 2 with Minnie Driver on Amazon Prime.

This article about Biden cancelling student loan debt for those with severe disabilities.

HugglePod Canvas chairs from Hearthsong. So fun for the kids, and statistically proven to be a calming space for children with special needs.

Ice Barrel. I’m considering getting this for myself for Christmas. Cold exposure improves mood and brain health, and activates the nervous system. If it wasn’t so expensive, it would be in my house right now. I took an ice bath at a fancy spa a year ago, and I can’t tell you how good I felt afterward, for DAYS. The price just needs to come down. They are one of my affiliates, but yowsa, the $$ is pricey. Check it out.

10 Quick Dinners With Five Ingredients or Less for Back-to-School chaos. Key word: SLOW COOKER.

“Night House” coming into theaters today. We’re going to see it on Sunday.

“Women of the Week” on M.M. LaFleur. I swear by M.M. LaFleur and Modern Citizen for my teaching style, and their message of feminine power through professionalism and career resonates with me. If you like to look sophisticated and polished, give it a look. I love putting on my work clothes to teach my classes in the fall, then coming home to put on fluffy sweatpants and cashmere sweaters. Is there a more yummy feeling? Live with purpose, ladies.

The iconic American Giant hoodie dress just came out in plum. OMG. I have this hoodie dress in black, blue, and green. They are my casual hang-out, run-errands, read-on-the-patio go-to dresses in the fall, and the first articles of clothing I roll up and put into my luggage when I travel. They are thick, flattering and versatile, and again, not cheap, but I bet my American Giant hoodie dresses will last longer (can you say forever?) than anything you could get at Marshalls.

Another funny slideshow by the Onion: “Major Things Your Teacher Glossed Over in Sex Ed.” Warning: rated R+.

This obscure sweet lilting Lyle Lovett song, “If I Had a Boat.” This song works its way into my heart, lodges in my throat, and reminds me of everything in the world that is good and right and pure. Close your eyes and turn it up.

I will be making these perfect roasted Brussels sprouts this weekend.

Finally, drum roll please….“To Kill a Mockingbird” starring Jeff Daniels as Atticus Finch coming back to Broadway. Huzzah!!!! I’ve seen it twice, third time is the charm. Anyone want to join? Email me and have a great weekend!