Last month I bought a pair of sneakers online, and when the shoe box arrived, it held a soft, baby blue shoe bag. I was touched by the gesture, although confused.

What kind of psychopath stores her stinky running sneakers in a cashmere shoe bag? Was this an upper echelon of society I had heretofore not been exposed to? Was this akin to George eating his Snickers with a knife and fork?

I visited a specialty Italian food store, and after I made my purchase, the cashier handed me a thick grocery bag with generous handles.

“Thank you for shopping with us.”

I looked at her, then looked at the bag. I twirled it around, mesmerized by the thick canvas feel of it and their store insignia blazoned on the front. It was the nicest grocery bag I had ever been handed.

I bought a pair of earrings for a small gift swap I will be attending, and the jewelry counter attendant placed them into a luxurious red leather box, and wrapped the box in thick fancy wrapping with a bow on top. I didn’t even ask her to gift wrap it.

“Thank you,” I said nonplussed. She just grinned at me knowingly, like she knew something I didn’t.

Oh, you bet she did.

I bought my sons some gifts at Dick’s Sporting Goods. Nothing outrageous, just some golf stuff, cool clothes, the normal fare. My eyes popped out of my head at the final total.

“Are you sure that’s right?” I asked the cashier. “Did you multiply that by pi?”

The young girl looked at me strangely, then at the total on the register. “No, it’s right.”

“Is that total in złoty?”

Her face was blank. “Huh?”

“Never mind. Did you enter my discount?”

“Yes,” she said. “Sorry. But feel free to grab as many gift boxes as you want when you exit the store.” I followed her gesture towards huge crates piled to the ceiling and filled with every size box imaginable.

I challenged her. “I can have as many as I want?”

“Yes.”

“Can I have 9?”

“Sure.”

“12?”

“Yep.”

“How about 20?”

She raised her eyebrows.

“Ma’am, you can have as many boxes as you want.”

Ah, yes. There it was. Stores are famously stingy with their gift boxes during the holidays, so it would seem that this has been the catch all along. Everything is so expensive right now, merchants are throwing these beautiful packages, boxes and bags in for “nothing.” Because they’re overcharging for everything.

I don’t have a problem with them trying to make money, I just want them to know that I know, and that I informed you, and now you know.  

You know?