Love and Time

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.” “Oh….Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself.”

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?” Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered…

“Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

Merry Christmas.

Hope Your Road is a Long One

Many thanks to my good friend Susan Cain, who emailed me and reminded me of how much I have always loved the poem “Ithaka” by C.P. Cavafy. I needed that reminder.

Oh, and here’s hoping your road is a long one

As you set out for Ithaka

hope your road is a long one,

full of adventure, full of discovery.

Laistrygonians, Cyclops,

angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:

you’ll never find things like that on your way

as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,

as long as a rare excitement

stirs your spirit and your body.

Laistrygonians, Cyclops,

wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them

unless you bring them along inside your soul,

unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.

May there be many summer mornings when,

with what pleasure, what joy,

you enter harbors you’re seeing for the first time;

may you stop at Phoenician trading stations

to buy fine things,

mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

sensual perfume of every kind—

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

and may you visit many Egyptian cities

to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you’re destined for.

But don’t hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you’re old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn’t have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,

you’ll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

Life is No Brief Candle

I re-read Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw this past weekend, and in my notes was this beautiful quote by Shaw himself. Happy Labor Day Monday, let’s move to Spooky Season, shall we?

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; to be thoroughly worn out before being thrown on the scrap heap.

Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole world and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live.

I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

Thoughts on Purpose

Yes, I’m going to plagiarize again. Gimme a break, my semester is starting, and I’m up to my neck in clerical tasks. So here is a lovely quote from the late Mr. Wayne Dyer:

Somewhere, buried deep within each of us, is a call to purpose. It’s not always rational, not always clearly delineated, and sometimes even seemingly absurd, but the knowing is there. There’s a silent something within that intends you to express yourself. That something in your soul telling you to listen and connect through love, kindness, and receptivity to the power of intention. That silent inner knowing will never leave you alone. You may try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, but in honest, alone moments of contemplative communion with yourself, you sense the emptiness, waiting for you to fill it with your music. It wants you to take the risks involved, and to ignore your ego and the egos of others who tell you that an easier, safer, or more secure path is best for you.

Ironically, it’s not necessarily about performing a specific task or being in a certain occupation or living in a specific location. It’s about sharing yourself in a creative, loving way using the skills and interests that are inherently part of you. It can involve any activity: dancing, writing, healing, gardening, cooking, parenting, teaching, composing, singing, surfing- whatever. There’s no limit to this list. But everything on this list can be done to pump up your ego or to serve others.

Satisfying your ego ultimately means being unfulfilled and questioning your purpose. This is because your Source is egoless, and you’re attempting to connect to your Source, where your purpose originates. If the activities on the list are in service to others, you feel the bliss of purposeful living, while paradoxically attracting more of what you’d like to have in your life.

Sigh. Miss you.

5 Ugly Truths

Thank you to Mark Manson, the current reigning king of not giving a f***, for these five truths that he says are hard to hear:

  1.  At some point we must all admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and then commit.

2. We try things. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The point is to stick with the ones that go well and move on, not get upset about every little thing that didn’t go our way.

3. What we don’t realize is that there is a fine art of non-fuck-giving. People aren’t born not giving a fuck. Not giving a fuck must be honed over years of deliberate practice.

4. Finding meaning and purpose is not a five-day spa retreat. It’s a fucking hike through mud and shit with golf-ball sized hail pelting you in the face. And you have to love it. You have to laugh about it. To show the world your gleaming bruises and scars and say, “I stood for THIS.”

5. No one is going to stand up at your funeral and say, “He fucked like a wildebeest and had the best golf swing I’ve ever seen.” Life is about loving people, not impressing them.

And if #5 describes you even slightly, call me. Lol

Mas Jim

Busy week. Here’s another gem from my main man Jim Rohn:

Become a ghost for six months.

Make everything your fault.

Find the beast within you.

Throw yourself into the pain.

Cut out all the excuses.

Go all in on yourself.

Train like a warrior.

Work like a robot.

Eat like a king.

Reject vices.

Transform.

Upgrade.

Create.

Thrive.

Win.

It’s Hot

I recently had an intellectual discussion with a colleague concerning the recent heat wave and its connection to global warming, and he was so fascinated with my scientific acumen that he suggested I publish it here.

Him: It’s hot.

Me: It’s summer.

Him: I mean, really hot.

Me: That happens in summer.

Him: Phoenix is, like, 115 degrees.

Me: Oh yeah, it often gets hot in the desert in the summer.

Him: Babies and dogs are dying in overheated cars.

Me: It’s not a good idea to leave babies and dogs in hot cars. You know, it being summer and all.

Him: The secretary general of the World Meteorological Organization said, and I quote, “the extreme weather which has affected millions of people happened in July.”

Me: Well, July is part of summer. Summer gets hot.

Him: He said the world has entered what forecasters warn could be a “long period of exceptional warmth.”

Me: That’s usually June- August. Those are summer months.

Him: Supposedly untangling the specific factors behind this heat wave will take time.

Me: By that time, it should be cooler. Once summer is over.

Him: Scientists need to understand whether we’re going to be seeing this again next year, or 10 years from now.

Me: I think we will. Summer tends to happen once a year.

Him: It could make subtropical regions susceptible to greater heat and drought.

Me: Yeah, those regions get hotter than other areas in the summer.

Him: Once verdant Mesopotamia is running dry

Me: Excuse me?

Him: The Fertile Crescent is the cradle of civilization.

Me: So?

Him: The word itself, “Mesopotamia,” means “land between two rivers.” The rivers are drying up. People are moving away.

Me: They probably don’t like how hot it gets in the summer.

Him: The ocean in Florida is up to triple digits. People say it’s like swimming in soup.

Me: Yeah, Florida gets really hot, especially in the summer. Summer gets really hot. Summer is hot.

Him: I can’t talk to you.

Me: Have a good summer.

Bonding Time

My 21-year old son had had a sore throat for a few days, and Friday morning he miraculously agreed not only to get checked out so that we could rule out strep, but also to let me accompany him.

After he signed in and we sat down, he immediately checked his phone. I looked around the waiting room and every single person was on his or her phone. Every. Single. One. Enjoy the following mom-son conversations he has agreed to let me publish on my blog today:

Me: Look at everyone staring at their phones. Good lord.

Him: Hmmph.

Me: Why don’t you put your phone away, be a rebel, look like a real man.

Him: What else is there to do? What do you do when you’re waiting in an office?

Me: Stare at people until I make them uncomfortable.

Him: (Laughs)

5-minute pause.

Me: Sore throats are the worst.

Him: Yeah. I had tonsillitis for two weeks at school.

Me: Excuse me?

Him: My roommates said my nodes were swollen. I definitely had tonsillitis.

Me: Why didn’t you go to the health center?

Him: I got through it.

Me: Are you saying you cured your own tonsillitis?

Him: That’s what I’m saying.

Me: That could offer hope to millions of people a year paying to get their tonsils removed.

Him: (Laughs)

5-minute pause.

Him: I miss my cat.

(He refers to the cat that lives in his campus house).

Me: We still haven’t had a turn at holiday babysitting.

Him: I know.

Me: Bring him home at Thanksgiving.

Him: Maybe.

Me: It would be worth the look on your brother’s face when he walked in and saw a cat in the house.

Him: (Laughs). He hates cats.

Me: I know. I don’t know why.

Him: He says he’s allergic to them.

Me: He’s not. He made it up.

Him: Why?

Me: Because Dad was. He thinks it’s genetic.

Him: (Laughs)

Long pause. Mother and young girl enter ladies’ room, young girl begins dry heaving and crying. You can hear the mother comforting her.

Me: That’s a shame. It’s scary to throw up.

Him: It’s the worst.

Me: Did you get sick the night of your 21st?

Him: No. I threw up earlier that day though.

Me: So you engaged in preemptive vomiting?

Him: You could say that.

Me: (Laughing).

He receives a text that we are 9th in line, which we estimate is a minimum of one hour. We tell the receptionist we will be in the car until it is our turn. Once in the car, he shows me a BreezyGolf video of a toddler using his plastic golf club to hit a plastic golf ball out of tall grass. After 20 or so attempts, the baby finally throws the club in frustration. We laugh. After only one minute of waiting, he receives a phone call that he can come in for his appointment. Happily, he comments:

“We should have done this sooner.”

As I watch his six-foot tall athletic frame amble its way into the medical center, looking both strong but vulnerable, I can’t help but think:

Yes, we should.

(Strep test was negative).

Golf Hacks

What are we in now, mid-summer? My goal is to get out on my boat and onto the golf course more than I have been.

Need some golf hacks? I just read a great article about mistakes we are all making with our golf games. Here they are:

  1. Impatience to practice small swings. Using your Big Dog off the tee isn’t everything, you know. Foreplay is just as, if not more, important. Sigh: I used to have this beautiful little approach shot with my pitching wedge with this pretty little half swing my husband taught me. Something happened, and it doesn’t work anymore. I need a new strategy, I’m either flubbing it or going over the green.
  2. Intolerance to errors. How many success gurus do we need to listen to before we agree: mistakes are how you get better. Failure is not only an option, it’s necessary. Sheesh.
  3. Reluctance to use training aids. Training aids may not improve your game right away, but if used consistently, could help down the road.
  4. Taking advice from friends rather than a golf coach. I’ve received three excellent pieces of advice in my lifetime, advice that drastically improved my golf game: one from a friend, one from a golf club demo guy, and one from my son. My point? You never know where the good advice will come.
  5. Refusal to use video or hear swing feedback. The first time I watched a video my husband took of my swing off the tee, I watched him trying to keep a straight face. “Why didn’t you tell me I looked like that?” I asked. “Looked like what?” he replied, innocently. “Um, like I’m having a convulsion?” I said. “Oh, that,” he replied. “Well, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” “Oh, but humiliation is better? I suck.” I pouted. He put the phone down, took my hand, looked in my eyes, and smiled. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, you do.” Hey, honesty is the best policy.
  6. One and done lessons. Buy a package. One lesson won’t do shite.
  7. Can’t identify their strengths and weaknesses. My strengths: any shot with a seven iron, chip shots, driving a par-three, putting, having cute pink balls that match my cute pink shoes, tending the flag in a responsible and authoritative fashion, and chugging a cold drink after quitting halfway through 18 in frustration. My weaknesses: Water. Sand. Woods. Trees. Bushes. Rough. Rocks. Geese. Scat droppings. Cart paths. Groups standing behind me watching me tee off.
  8. Failure to practice after a lesson.
  9. Wrong practice routines.
  10. Overgeneralizing errors. Why have you bladed a chip? Why did you top your drive? Why are you so rude to the cart girl? She’s just a young gorgeous college student trying to earn money, why do you have to be such a douchebag? I hope her father and brothers come and beat the shit out of you for calling her a “beer whore.”
  11. Being a range rat. Spending too much time on the range is golf porn. Stop watching and envisioning, and go do it.
  12. Trying to hit a draw when a fade comes easily. I don’t know what this means.

It’s All Risky

Never forget when you hear a financial or life guru discussing risk, it originally came from my main man, Mr. Jim Rohn:

It’s all risky.

The minute you were born it got risky.

If you think trying is risky, wait till they hand you the bill for not trying.

If you think investing is risky, wait till you get the tab for not investing.

See, it’s all risky.

Getting married is risky,

Having children is risky,

Going into business is risky.

Investing your money is risky.

It’s all risky.

I’ll tell you how risky life is.

You’re not going to get out alive.

It’s all risky.

Designate your time. Again, Jim:

Just be more alert to the things that might be stealing your time.

Time is like capital.

You can’t let someone steal your seed corn.

You can’t let someone steal your capital.

And you can’t let someone steal your time.

You must designate your time, and some of the time that you designate you must not let anyone steal.

Casual time you might let someone intrude and steal a little bit, take a little bit.

But not serious time.