I recently had an intellectual discussion with a colleague concerning the recent heat wave and its connection to global warming, and he was so fascinated with my scientific acumen that he suggested I publish it here.

Him: It’s hot.

Me: It’s summer.

Him: I mean, really hot.

Me: That happens in summer.

Him: Phoenix is, like, 115 degrees.

Me: Oh yeah, it often gets hot in the desert in the summer.

Him: Babies and dogs are dying in overheated cars.

Me: It’s not a good idea to leave babies and dogs in hot cars. You know, it being summer and all.

Him: The secretary general of the World Meteorological Organization said, and I quote, “the extreme weather which has affected millions of people happened in July.”

Me: Well, July is part of summer. Summer gets hot.

Him: He said the world has entered what forecasters warn could be a “long period of exceptional warmth.”

Me: That’s usually June- August. Those are summer months.

Him: Supposedly untangling the specific factors behind this heat wave will take time.

Me: By that time, it should be cooler. Once summer is over.

Him: Scientists need to understand whether we’re going to be seeing this again next year, or 10 years from now.

Me: I think we will. Summer tends to happen once a year.

Him: It could make subtropical regions susceptible to greater heat and drought.

Me: Yeah, those regions get hotter than other areas in the summer.

Him: Once verdant Mesopotamia is running dry

Me: Excuse me?

Him: The Fertile Crescent is the cradle of civilization.

Me: So?

Him: The word itself, “Mesopotamia,” means “land between two rivers.” The rivers are drying up. People are moving away.

Me: They probably don’t like how hot it gets in the summer.

Him: The ocean in Florida is up to triple digits. People say it’s like swimming in soup.

Me: Yeah, Florida gets really hot, especially in the summer. Summer gets really hot. Summer is hot.

Him: I can’t talk to you.

Me: Have a good summer.