So an email was waiting for me upon my return home from Phoenix:
Congratulations Mary! Your workshop has been accepted for our Small Business Expo!
Huh? What workshop? What small business expo?
Your workshop entitled “Going Rogue: Harnessing Success Through Solitude” will be presented in Workshop Room #2. Our best to you as you prepare to meet us in _____.
Damn, I thought, I don’t remember writing it, but that is one kickass title for a workshop.
So o.k., I don’t remember submitting a workshop presentation, but see, this is the shit I do. I see an opportunity and think to myself, “Wow, that sounds terrifying and out of my league. I think I’ll apply for it.”
Of course I’m going to do it. God sends you into these rooms you have no right to be in, and all of a sudden, you’re in them, looking around and saying, “Now what?” So I’ll send information about the expo as it gets closer, but a question on the acceptance letter made me pause:
What product will you be selling?
I’m my product. So maybe if I don’t show up, that’s actually promoting solitude, right?
Just kidding.
My “product” is still in development. But success through solitude is my personal story, and something I truly believe other people should embrace more. Everything, and I mean everything, that has been good career-wise in my life is a result of having been able to think alone, act alone, travel alone, work alone, and be alone. It is only when I am around other people that my life force gets muddled.
Many people are afraid of solitude, of the silence of their thoughts and dreams, because they can’t get that silence without first having to withstand the roar of their imperfections. The roar of humanity, or lack of. The roar of fear and human foibles and uncertainty and grief.
In Tampa I watched a woman sitting at a table and waiting for her husband to bring her a drink from the bar. The bar was crowded, and he began to talk casually with other patrons as he waited to order. At first she was fine. Smiling into the spring sunshine on this beautiful patio bar, watching runners and boats go by. Then she began to get visibly uncomfortable. The smile disappeared, and she began to look backwards towards the bar, as if to see what was taking her Hub so long. Then the phone came out, which it always inevitably does, like a security blanket. She checked that a few times, then went through her purse, then looked towards the bar again. After only five minutes (FIVE MINUTES!) she had had enough, and marched to the bar to see what was taking her spouse so long. She returned, visibly annoyed, and repeated all the above a few more times. By the time her well-meaning spouse returned she was completely pissed, and he handed her a mimosa, wondering what he had done wrong other than leave to get her a drink.
She was forced to face that alone thing, you know. It’s some scary shit, facing that part of yourself. What do I do? Think? Act? But the thing with solitude is when you get past the breakers, you reach calm seas, and the smooth sailing is one sweet ride.
Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy your families this Easter holiday, and your vacation week, if you’re taking one. Just don’t forget to give yourself time to yourself. Five minutes, an hour, an afternoon, a whole day.
Because no matter where you go, there you are.