Why the hell does Travel and Leisure magazine want me to drink ginger ale so badly? Why?

I get an article a month delivered to my inbox with the same headline:

“Why You Should Always Order Ginger Ale on a Flight”

(Read to the end of the post for the answer).

Now, I wasn’t born yesterday. I’m old enough to know the deal. When any entity, corporation, media outlet, even individual, boreasses me about something that I have never brought up nor shown interest in, there is usually only one reason:

They’re trying to manipulate me, whether it be emotionally, financially, or mentally.

But what reason could T&L possibly have for trying to convince me that ginger ale should be my drink of choice when flying?

The first thing that popped into my head was that they’re trying to brainwash travelers into believing that a ginger ale is a fine and satisfying substitution for alcohol, in the effort to keep people from drinking on airplanes.

AP domestic news just reported a disturbing number: last year there were 5,981 episodes of violent behavior during air flight. Interestingly, last week Southwest Airlines announced that they are bringing alcohol back onto planes, and flight attendants went nuts on social media, decrying the decision. They think when people drink, they get dangerous.

But it seems to me that it’s the opposite: people on airplanes get dangerous because they can’t drink.

Right? Is it me?

Flight violence has escalated since the pandemic. Travelers are wearing masks. They’re tense and anxious. And many are too damn busy staring at other passengers just in case they get a chance to punch someone who pulls down his mask for a second to scratch his nose.

The real truth? There are many people who have anxiety when they fly, and rely on the calming effects of alcohol to get them through it.

So the fuck what? Let us be! Let us live! Just give us our booze, and let us get hammered, like the good ‘ol days! And I will say that first class enjoyed listening to the coach section getting disgruntled over their lack of alcohol, like Brad Pitt listening for a zombie outbreak in the movie “World War Z.”

Here’s the scene. It’s super funny if you picture this happening in coach from the vantage point of first-class:

So here’s the big reveal, why T&L wants us to drink ginger ale:

First: It was the most popular drink in the 1840’s. (Um, so?)

Second: The tastes of sweetness and saltiness are heightened in the sky, so ginger ale tastes tangy, as do Bloody Mary’s. (Ew, spaghetti sauce over ice).

Third: Ginger ale is an anti-inflammatory. (It is still is when you add Jack to it, morons).

Fourth: Ginger ale feels good on an emotional level. (It does?)

That was the brunt of the article. That’s why T&L wants us to drink ginger ale when we fly. Oh by the way, Canada Dry was sued when it was discovered that there is no actual ginger in their ginger ale.

Should be called Canada Dry Ginger-Like Ale.

Just trying to help.