Want to reset in Telluride?

Hell yes, I thought to myself, as I clicked on the Instagram link. The private, ultra-luxury wellness and trekking retreat promised to give me a week that would change my life.

You know I’m always up for life-changing experiences, and since I have ten days to decide if I’m going to travel in February or work, I’m investigating all possibilities.

This seems promising, I thought. I’ve never been to Telluride. I kept clicking.

Half-day treks, chef-designed cuisine, restorative therapies and spa services. Break out of tired patterns. Tap into your highest potential.

Yeah, baby, Mary likey.

I kept scrolling. And scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. You know what this means as well as I do. They were building up the program before they revealed the price.

Want to take a guess? Let’s look at it this way: Including tip, breakfast out for a family of four now costs about $100, dinner out between $200-$300. A week’s worth of groceries for a family of four now costs about $300. I used to fill my tank for $35, now it costs $60. I got my kid Panera bread last week on the way home from a consultation, and three small items were $30.

(Side shopping note: if you’re a woman who likes to shop, join the Nordy club. I popped into Nordstrom over the weekend, and found a belted sweater that would look good with my leggings and boots, and was pleased to find out I had a $50 note. I took that sweater home for nothing. It’s worth it)

In the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, there’s a rule that goes like this: it takes 10,000 hours of intensive practice to achieve mastery of complex skills and materials, like playing the violin or getting as good as Bill Gates at computer programming.

For example, if you’re a teacher, you’re teaching 30 hours a week, not including meal breaks, meetings, grading papers or outside improvement activities. You’re in the classroom about 35 weeks a year, which equates to about 1,050 hours a year. So if using Gladwell’s theory, it would take the average teacher about 10 years to reach mastery.

Take it from an educator: that’s about right. If anything, in ten years you simply have control and structure. Artistry takes longer.

Then there’s the song, “10,000 Hours” by Justin Bieber and Dan and Shay. Apparently it takes 10,000 hours and 10,000 more to really know a girl’s heart. So if you marry her, you can expect to sort of understand her in six years, with an added cushion of another six. Again, sounds right.

If you haven’t guessed it yet, yes: resetting in Telluride costs just under $10,000. It promises:

5 sunrises (not enough)

15 trail mates (too many)

70,000 steps (that’s about .07 cents a step, or is my math wrong?)

I commend them for trying. The travel industry will probably never recover from the nonsense of the last three years, or at the very least for many years to come. Expedia owes me flight credits, won’t take my phone calls, and have refused to reimburse me for trips that were cancelled due to Covid. They refuse to reimburse anyone, for that matter. That’s what bankruptcy looks like.  

Shame.

Nevertheless, is it possible that resetting can be had for less than $10,000? Tune in tomorrow.

Spring break is gonna be slamming. For the love of God I hope it gets here soon.

(Note: the pesky, finicky Universe has decided for me, as it often does, as to my fate in February. Looking like work, folks. I’m glad for it, but spring break can’t get here soon enough).