Ah, I am so naïve.

So I did another closet purge, right? Purged my closet of dresses that are perhaps too young for me, and, er, too hoochie-momma for someone my age? It felt good, coming to terms with my closet.

I mean, just where in the hell am I going to wear a magenta ruched mini-dress? A navy blue backless caped mini? A leopard print mini?

Exactly. To a costume party only, if I wanted to go as a woman who refuses to act her age. I could go as Madonna. Susan Sarandon. Cher!

Not to denigrate these fabulous women, I love them all. They can dress however they want, they get artists’ exemptions. Not me. I’m immature enough as it is, so I believe firmly in dressing appropriately for a woman my age.

So OUT DAMN POLE-DANCING CLOTHES, I said, using my best Lady Macbeth impression. But now what to do with them? Some of them still have tags on them, since they were bought in moments of rash impulsivity. Many of them were only worn once, with little chance of ever being worn again.

But they’re soooooo beautiful. Some beautiful young person with no cellulite should be able to rock them.

Then I remembered the commercial for Poshmark. That cute girl, who tells us in her delicate little voice that it’s sooooooo easy to sell clothes on the app.

Yeah, right.

I don’t care about the money. Let me just say that going in. I just want these beautiful dresses to be worn by someone equally as beautiful. If you are reading this, I swear to God email me and give me your address. I will send the whole lot to you, then you can do the heavy lifting.

The only heavy lifting I like is in the gym.

Poshmark is not easy. Maybe someone who is good with social media would have fun with it, but it was not easy for me.

I discovered pretty quickly that Poshmark is a dating app for clothes. No one trusts anyone else. If you say it’s brand-new, tags on, all you will get are people messaging you, trying to make you prove your dress is who you say it is.

Then there are the scammers. They want your private information, they are in the hospital and need money, they want the dress for their daughter who is sick in Bolivia, blah, blah, blah.

I gave up pretty quickly. My Poshmarket closet is still up, so take a look if you want: @moves66

We are going to have a yard sale in the spring, and I am going to display the dresses front-and-center, on decorative racks. See if I can sell them that way.

Unless you want ‘em. Email me. And see everyone in November.

Maybe.