Next time you go for a drive, complete this challenge: Every time a driver does something that pisses you off, check out if it is a Kia. I guarantee that 80 percent of stupid moves on the road are done by Kia drivers. Let’s allot another five percent to people in Hyundais, and another five to Infinity drivers. That leaves 10 percent for every other car model.

And if you are the owner and driver of a Kia, please forgive me for this question, but:

 Are you ok?

Why are you so angry? Why do you speed so recklessly? Why do you pass from the wrong lanes? Why do you tailgate? Why do you drag race at red lights? Why are you always scowling? Why do you always have trash piled up on your back window?

I mean, are you angry because you had to buy a Kia? Do you love your Kia, but feel shame about it, like ABBA fans? Are you not angry, but you want us to think you’re angry? Do you have low self-esteem? Are you trying to prove that Kias are just as good as every other car brand? Do you think that we think your car is a shit box, so you want to try and kill us with it?

Is a personality test required to purchase a Kia?

Thank you for the interest in this Kia. Please fill out this questionnaire with as much honesty as possible by answering Yes or No:

Do you believe that movement inspires?

Do you believe that fast and reckless movement inspires even more than safe movement?

Do you agree to mow down slow-moving drivers and pedestrians?

Do you agree to attend anger management sessions?

Do you agree to drive 30-40 miles faster than the legal speed limit?

Do you agree to never wave anyone ahead of you into traffic?

Do you agree to weave in and out of lanes on major highways?

Do you agree to risk the lives of yourself, your loved ones and other drivers for the entire length of time you drive this vehicle?

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire. If you answered “Yes” to at least six of these questions, you are now a proud owner of a Kia. Remember to drive irresponsibly, and never forget:

Movement inspires.