My son just left for Europe. Thought you’d enjoy a timeline of his departure:

Three months before:

Him: I’m going to Europe.

Me: Really? When?

Him: I’m not sure.

Me: For how long?

Him: Again…

Two months before:

Me: Something arrived for you from Amazon.

Him: Awesome, my lederhosen!

Me: Excuse me?

One month before:

Me: Another package here for you.

Him: YES! My dirndl!

Me: Isn’t a dirndl for women?

Him: Traditionally.

Two weeks before:

Him: Can I get Vienna sausage through customs?

One week before:

Him: (Playing video games)

Me: Shouldn’t you be getting prepared?

Him: (Looks up and throws on German Alpine hat). I’m ready.

Me: My error.

Five days before:

Him: Can you drive me to the airport on Wednesday?

Me: Sure, I’m off.

Him: I’m flying out of Newark.

Me: Forget it.

Two days before:

Him: (Doing nothing).

Me: Aren’t you leaving tomorrow?

Him: I had the day wrong, my flight is Thursday.

Me: Shouldn’t that have been an important piece of information?

Him: Seemingly.

One day before:

Treats me to a European costume fashion show, showing me all of his outfits.

Me: You’re not going to walk around wearing those outfits, are you? I mean, is this a joke?

Him: No joke. Of course I’m going to wear them.

Me: What if you get arrested for stupidity?

Him: It will be worth it.

The day:

Him: Cleans out car, arranges transportation, looks for passport, gets last minute Euros, packs, wonders where he will park at JFK, calls travel companion, picks travel outfit, gripes and groans about running out of time.

Him: Ok, I’m out of here.

Me: Way to not leave everything to the last minute.

Him: Thanks, Mom, your support means a lot to me. Farvel.