My goodness, New Jersey, what the dickens has gotten into you?
I have spent the better part of my adult life blaspheming the crappy cold wet spring Jersey weather, and here you go, handing me the most beautiful spring I can remember since, like, my childhood. It’s been a long time, Spring. Nice to see you again.
Right? Am I right? When I am an old lady, rocking in my rocking chair, I’ll be telling my grandchildren about the spring of 2021, and how every spring day I woke up to cool crisp breezes and brilliant sunshine. No humidity, no fog, no bone-penetrating cold. Just..spring.
So that’s one thing I’m super grateful for right now. Another is that I leave Friday for Alaska. Today is my Ode to Joysey, and tomorrow is my Ode to Alaska. If you’re a surfer, or a surfing parent, or if you like sports metaphors in general, be sure to read tomorrow, because you’ll especially connect with tomorrow’s post.
For now let’s do some more Lovins’ and Hatins’.
Lovin’: Jersey openings. I’m so happy for the restaurants, the gyms, the businesses, the camps and the schools for being able to once again do their 100% capacity awesome thang. Don’t get impatient that we’re still being asked to wear masks, they have a shelf life of a few more weeks, at most. Murphy’s bluster is losing steam, especially since we’re the laughing stock of the country. So let’s all get out and celebrate our emancipation, WE DID IT!
Hatin’: Having to change my duvet cover. Those smiley psychotic women on Youtube who act like it’s super easy to change a duvet cover can kiss my ass. I have to mentally and physically prepare myself like I’m an Olympic athlete preparing for a decathlon in order to change my duvet cover. Oh, you think it’s easy and fun? Then come do mine and prove it. I’ll wait.
Lovin’: Memorial Day Weekend. Normally I wouldn’t be lovin’ Memorial Day weekend because of the tourists, but this year I get to be off the grid in Denali instead of being stuck in traffic in this crazy, hectic beach resort. Not my cup o’ tea, but everyone else, have fun!
Hatin’: Memorial Day Weekend: Because my sons are in charge of the house while I’m away. Actually, they’re fired. I put their girlfriends in charge. The boys just terrify me. If you’ve never read my blog “Goats in Charge,” not to toot my own horn, but it was just accepted into the Erma Bombeck Humorist Writers Workshop, so here’s the link:
https://udayton.edu/blogs/erma/2021/05/goats_in_charge.php
The Erma Bombeck workshop is an invitation-only workshop, and I’ll be attending the 2022 conference. Just have to figure out what to talk about. Goats, I guess.
Lovin’: My menagerie. My son walked up the sidewalk yesterday when I was on the patio, looked around and said, “What’re you running here, a zoo?” My ducks were relaxing under the bushes, my rabbits were chewing their carrots contentedly, my squirrels were burying nuts, and my birds were flitting in and out of the bird feeders. I have new baby bunnies under my surf shack, and they are now cavorting around our yard like little furry baseballs. So dang cute. I know, I know, they eat all of the flowers in the garden. But I like rabbits more than flowers and their cuteness stops my heart. If you don’t like yours, send them over here.
Hatin’: Airport Valet Services being closed down. What the actual F? The planet opens up, travel is more accessible, and the first thing Pennsylvania can think to do is shut down airport valet services? I inevitably found transportation, but the first five I tried were “Temporarily Closed.” Sheesh.
Lovin’: My Athleta Farallon Joggers. Now, I’m not going to provide you with a link, ladies, because I’m no longer in the position to recommend products unless the company pays me for it, and I don’t see Athleta being a sponsor of my blog, like EVER, unless my book goes New York Times bestseller. But let me just say something about these stretchy pants: YUM. I have them in white, black, camo and khaki, and I’m bringing them all to Alaska. I’m not a pants girl at all- I’m short and curvy and muscular, and finding comfortable joggers that don’t make me look like a Snausage is tough. But these Farallon joggers are to DIE-FOR. Drawstring waist, soft stretchy durable material, and like all great joggers, gently gathered at the ankle. There’s nothing you can’t do with them. Wear them with a muscle tee and flips. Wear them with a blazer and heels for work. Wear them with a structured sweater, or a t-shirt. Wear them to hang out or hike or on a boat ride. I can’t recommend them enough.
Hatin’: I need one more Hatin’ to make this post balanced. Ummmm….Oh, I thought of one. Why do writers and CEO’s and motivational speakers have to work so hard at thinking up titles for projects, articles and books, when the average Joe Schmo can open up a bagel shop and just call it “Hot Bagels”? It seems unjust and unfair. They should have to make more of an effort to be unique, like the rest of us. That would be like me calling this post “This Post.” Forget “Hot Bagels,” how ‘bout “Goldy Lox?” Or “I Bagel to Differ?” or “Leggo My Bagel?” But I must admit: Hot Bagels leaves no room for interpretation. Well done.
People seem to like when I embed videos, so here’s a nice flashmob of “Ode to Joy,” or “Ode an Die Freude,” Beethoven’s 9th. If you want the goosebumps, ya gotta wait until the end. It’ll open up into your heart right around 4:09.