I received an email last week, and darn it to heck if I can’t find it. This thing was a gem. I’m so mad, I always save stuff like that. So forgive me for not quoting it exactly.
In short, this individual wanted me to immediately deposit $400 into his crypto-account, or he would release the incriminating video he had, and I quote, “of you pleasuring yourself.” He had control of my laptop camera, apparently.
Dang. I wondered what he had on me. I pondered the potential ways I had immorally pleasured myself in front of my laptop lately, and came up with a few possibilities which, if released, have the power to destroy my reputation.
- Eating McDonalds french fries while pointedly ignoring the newly purchased fresh Jersey cantaloupe glaring at me from the counter.
- Moaning and drooling over Paradise Valley real estate.
- Shouting into the computer after reading a campus-wide email: “I’m not joining your damn textbook committee, it’s summer, leave me alone!”
- Turning on Photo Booth, turning this way and that, and deciding for the thousandth time that yes, by God yes, I will get liposuction for my double-chin.
- Watching Jordan Peterson eviscerate feminists on YouTube.
I could go on and on. My depravity knows no depths. But ultimately, I decided to NOT deposit $400 into this person’s crypto-account. Odds were good that he was bluffing. And if he releases any of the above-mentioned footage?
I mean, life is full of risks.
No comment yet, add your voice below!