Repeat Impossible

AT&T Bot: Please type your reply. How may I help you today?
Me: Please remove my dead husband’s name from the family account.
AT&T: You must remove a phone line using your account. Still want to do it?
Me: No. That’s not what I said.
AT&T: Can you rephrase your question?
Me: Stop emailing my husband. He’s dead.
AT&T: You must sign into your account.
Me: I can’t. You still have all of my husband’s information in there. And he’s dead.
AT&T: I can’t assist you until you sign into your account.
Me: It won’t let me. It thinks I’m my husband. And, like I’ve mentioned before, he’s dead.
AT&T: I’m not sure I understand your problem.
Me: Well, my husband is dead. So I’m a widow. And I have no one who cares how I take my coffee and eggs.
AT&T: Ok. What are you trying to sign into or access?
Me: I’d like to access some sex, but men look at me like I’m going to tie them up and force them to pay my mortgage.
AT&T: Ok. Is your account locked?
Me: I wish it was licked. Oh, sorry, you said locked. Yes. It’s locked.
AT&T: You need Thomas to unlock it.
Me: I know. But, you see, he’s dead.
AT&T Are you having an issue not listed here?
Me: Yes.
AT&T: Click on the issue not listed here.
Me: How can I click on it if it’s not listed here? Should I make something up?
AT&T: Ok.
Me: AT&T continues to defer to my dead husband’s authority despite the fact that I pay the bills.
AT&T: You want to pay a bill? Is that right?
Me: No. I never want to pay another telephone bill again. I could trade our phones in and buy an Escalade.
AT&T: So what is your problem?
Me: It’s mostly that I’m horny. I think I’d like to get married again, but he’ll have to be the right guy.
AT&T: Ok. Sorry we can’t be of more assistance. Please go online and look at other options.
Me: But online dating is terrible. It’s like shopping at Dollar General.
AT&T: Are you still there?
Me: Of course.
AT&T: Thank you for chatting today. We hope we’ve resolved your problem.
Me: