Give a Man a Mask and He Will Tell You the Truth

(Quote above attributed to Oscar Wilde)

Easter Sunday is April 17^th. If you’re traveling that week, please be aware that mask mandates on airplanes, while originally ending on March 18^th, have been extended THROUGH April 18^th. COVID has graciously agreed to vacate airports and airplanes by Easter week. But don’t go getting your hopes up, now- that’s how the word “through” gets us every time. By saying “through,” media implies that mandates can go through April 18^th.

Through, you know. The same way spaghetti water goes through a sieve.

How bugs go through a hole in your screen.

The way Taco Bell goes through your digestive system.

By using the word “through,” the CDC (The Center for Dumbass Conclusions) creates a semantical loophole.

But I’m optimistic for you, really. I had to wear a mask to and from Tampa, and I’ll most assuredly have to wear one on the way to and from Scottsdale as well. But I’m optimistic for all of you Easter Week traveling folks.

Now that it’s over, I’m going to say what I’ve been waiting to say. Masks prevented nothing. NOTHING. And if you still want to wear one, the rest of us support you. Just don’t expect us to continue with the charade.

I blogged once about the syndrome proven by several health outlets, that explains why many people like wearing a mask:

Some people like hiding their faces, because they think they are physically unattractive.

Some people like to be incognito.

Some people are disgusted by human society, and don’t want to breathe the same air as other people.

Some people have facial disfigurement, acne, tics.

Some people like not having to brush their teeth, shave, or apply makeup, and the masks are excuses to avoid grooming.

So FINE. To each his own. Just so you know the rest of us, those of us who found masks to be an infringement on our freedoms, can’t help but be amused at your indignation that we can now live mask-free.

I will miss masks for one reason: it was an easy filter for single people. A man wearing a mask alone in his car or outside in the fresh air was a sure indication for me and many women like me that no matter how much money he has, how intelligent he is, or how loving and kind, there had to be some kind of deep-seated fear or aberrance that would never be able to be overcome. And vice versa, I assure you. I cannot tell you how many times in the past two years I have walked around blatantly without a mask, just to see men’s reactions. My signal was clear:

I mask for no man. What you see is what you get.