Hot Girl Shit

So there I was, innocently watching Dr. Jordan Peterson’s YouTube interview with Matt McConaughey, minding my own business, and video suggestions on female “hotness” kept popping up. Fascinating subject, and the video clips were cerebral, many based on science.

Most of the clips were from Joe Rogan’s podcasts. Subjects like what kind of women make the best wives. Why the ultimate goal for a relationship should not be bliss. Why no woman should want to date a pushover, and vice versa. Why men managing to procreate with a woman and then not having to be responsible for the child is like hitting the genetic lottery (this got very complex). Why hot women are not necessarily beautiful women. Why beautiful women are not necessarily hot women. Why “ugly women with hot bodies still get plenty of action.” Discussions about hot women with bodies distorted from excessive plastic surgery, hot women with body dysmorphia, hot women with “diaper-butt” (never heard that term, but read: Kim Kardashian), hot women who have too much power in society, and the “fact” that there is no direct correlation between the words “hot” and “beauty” when describing women. Oh, and let’s not forget about society’s unrealistic expectations when it comes to the definition of universal feminine beauty.

(I adore Joe Rogan. He mesmerizes me. Joe Rogan gets, like, three-zillion views for every podcast he posts. But strangely enough, I rarely listen to him. I mean, I love doughnuts too, but I rarely eat them, because I can’t eat them in moderation. I simply don’t have the time to devote myself to Joe’s podcasts the way I would like to. And I can’t sit still for very long. Maybe one day).

But I digress.

My use of the word “hot” in this post refers of course not to the physical ideal promoted in movies, magazines and on social media, but to heat and energy. Lifeforce. The fabric that dresses women’s days and fancies their nights, the substance that lights us up from the inside, the medium that brings us to that place, either from our past or into our future, that takes us outside the mundane. The je ne sai quoi that makes us feel special. Fabulous.

Influencer Pat McNamara (#tmacsinc) posts IG videos called #basicdudestuff, and they’re super fun to watch every Wednesday. McNamara is retired Special Ops, and his basic dude stuff can be intense- stuff like sharpshooting, making traps, designing maps, chopping wood and listening to heavy metal music. But sometimes his Basic Dude Stuff is as simple and sweet as complimenting his wife, picking up trash in his neighborhood, and fixing stuff around the house. After every task, he looks mock-menacingly at the camera and states: “Basic Dude Stuff.” He’s off-the-charts adorable.

Men have their Basic Dude Stuff. Women have their Hot Girl Shit.

Hot Girl Shit differs for every woman. There are equestrian women who consider shoveling shit out of their horses’ stalls as Hot Girl Shit (and the boys they like probably think they’re hot when they do it, too). Hot Girl Shit can be flying your own airplane, getting an arm-sleeve tattoo, buying colored pushpins, listening to Christian gospel music, making a casserole, buying new butter-soft onesies for your grandchild, playing Fight Club, cage-diving with sharks, staring at the Mona Lisa, scrapbooking, nesting, doing Crossfit.

The possibilities are endless, and remember: No matter if we’re eight or eighty, we’re all hot. So enjoy your shit, whatever it is.

• Having a Fashion Show. The video “Can’t Talk Now Doing Hot Girl Shit” on IG gave me the idea for the list. This young girl arrives home from the mall with a big bag of clothes, and her mother and golden retriever sit on her bed and give her their opinion while she tries everything on. They had the music going, the snacks ready, colorful drinks on the nightstand table. Kind of like that scene in “Sex in the City” when Carrie has to decide what to get rid of and what to keep, and the girls drink champagne and rate each outfit as either “Keep,” “Toss,” or “Store.” Just cute, cute, cute. You don’t need an audience, you can just do this by yourself. Hot Girl Shit.
• Home (or Out) Spa Day. Facials, pedis/manis, exfoliation, bubble baths, spray tans, massages, fruit infused water. Hot Girl Shit.
• Petting/Posing with Cute Dogs, Horses and Babies. Hot Girl Shit.
• Make-up and Hair Sessions in Your Bathroom. Just playing around with your makeup and hair products. Learning how to contour around your brow bone, how to do a smoky eye or a blow-out, how to French-braid your hair. Hot Girl Shit.
• Having Friends Over for Special Drinks. Put those pretty drinks on a pretty tray, and have a friend videotape you bringing the tray into the room. Do this every time a different girlfriend hosts drink night, then have someone judge the videos to see who had the prettiest tray of drinks. Hot Girl Shit.
• Walking Through Tack Shops. Or Home Depot. Or souvenir shops. Or Home Goods. Or crafting stores. Or Yankee Candle. Or ski shops. Just browsing around and looking at the stuff you love, even if you’re not buying anything. Hot Girl Shit.
• Cooking Stuff. Like anything. So much better and cheaper than takeout. Hot Girl Shit.
• Buying colorful pens and decorated notebooks. Hot Girl Shit.
• Making a Winter Salad. Hot Girl Shit.
• Getting Cute Little Tattoos. Hot Girl Shit.
• Going to the Beach and Getting Golden from the Sun. Hot Girl Shit.
• Driving with Car Windows Open and Music Blaring. Hot Girl Shit.
• Having Coffee Outside on Your Patio or Deck at Sunrise. Hot Girl Shit.
• Taking a Bike Ride Listening to Music on Your Speaker. Hot Girl Shit.
• Beading with Colorful Beads. Hot Girl Shit.
• Having Jazzy Business Cards. Once you graduate from college, giving someone your number while they type it into their phone is childish and unprofessional. Get yourself some business cards printed up, even if you don’t have your dream job yet. Create your own on Vistaprint, with a cool design, and keep them everywhere. I have them in my car, in my gym bag, and every purse I own. I also have a leather business card holder that never leaves my luggage carry-on, so I always have a pile of cards with me on vacation. I leave my cards everywhere- with a tip at restaurants, on the nightstand tables when I check out of a hotel or resort, even at airport bars. I also keep some in the inner pocket of all of my jackets- you meet a lot of people when you travel, and you’d be surprised how many of them appreciate the gesture of a card. No one can read my blog if they don’t know about it. Hot Girl Shit.
• Shopping at Specialty Food Stores. Guilty as charged. I go once a month, and it takes me an entire Saturday. I start in Cherry Hill and work my way backwards towards home. I like the bread in this place, the artisanal cheese and olives in that one, the homemade sauces in that little place off the beaten track, the wine selection here, the cuts of meat you-know-in-that-little-store-with-the-red-door, the fresh seafood there. I enjoy being able to take my time, go to my favorite stores, and choose what I love. Hot Girl Shit.

This is far from being a full and comprehensive list, and running the gamut of personal taste is not the point. It really had no point. Does everything have to have a point?

Just enjoy your Hot Girl Shit. And Basic Dude Stuff.