(This is my last post for the week, see you on Monday. I will also be away for the Christmas holidays, so there will be no posts from the 25th to the 1st either).
Did you know that Cranksgiving is actually a thing around the country? Something about a scavenger hunt, a food drive, and a bike ride. Sounds like a blast. I love people who do good around the holidays, especially when they’re not me.
So in honor of Cranksgiving, here are some things I am NOT grateful for, dagnabbit:
Laundry. All the boys are back, and so is their laundry. I wish there was a laundry chute to hell I could throw it all down. NO, I don’t do their laundry, but it still takes up so much space in my back room. And their clothes are all so threadbare, what have they done with all of the clothes I’ve bought them for twenty years? The nice button-downs, the khakis, the crisp long-sleeved t-shirts? Their laundry looks like laundry for the cast of “The Little Rascals.”
Trashed Kitchen. Breakfast sandwiches, frozen pizzas, pots of pasta, hard-boiled eggs, lasagna, cold-cut sandwiches, pork products, cheese nachos, takeout, bowls of cereal, winter salads. We’re no sooner cleaning up from breakfast when someone is ready for lunch, and then it’s time for me to cook dinner or for Thanksgiving. Jeez Louise.
Coats and Shoes. Carhartt jackets, varsity lettermen jackets, golf windbreakers, hoodies, foul weather gear. Slip-ons, sneakers, golf shoes, sneakers, Uggs, sneakers, slippers, Uggs. My house is a sea of coats and shoes this time of year, there is just no controlling it.
Papers. Papers to read, papers to grade, just a sea of papers. And that’s not even counting emails. When you’re a teacher, there is always a requisite pile of papers to get through before you can even THINK of beginning to enjoy the holidays. It was my favorite part of my 23-minute retirement, not having papers to grade. Aaaaaaand, here I am again.
People who talk about watching holiday calories. Can’t you just shut up and let the country enjoy a day of gluttony? You’re a pain in the ass, and no one cares about the calories in dark meat, or about how many miles you ran Thanksgiving morning. Oh, you need to run after Thanksgiving dinner to burn off your calories? Great, lace up and fuck off.
That’s it for me. Enjoy yourselves, especially my fellow Cranks.
1 Comment
Another funny post. Thanks Mary for a chuckle this morning while I make Thanksgiving diner for my family for tomorrow.