Buzz Feed

Buzz Feed

Wasn’t the weather scrumptious yesterday? I’m still smitten.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” If that’s true, I should be giving birth to an entire constellation by June 1^st. I’ll keep you apprised as chaos presents itself, but please have patience with me these next four weeks, because I’ll be posting a lot of Buzz Feed kind of stuff. You know, like 5 ways to know if you snore, 8 things you can’t live without, that ilk. Today is:

10 Things You Don’t Know About Me, or Maybe You Do

1. I play the accordion. My very Italian-father got an accordion as a gift from his very Italian-friend (who also happened to be our family dentist), and one night he called me and my three brothers into his bedroom. He stood in the middle of the room, crossed his arms, and asked us who was going to take lessons. My brothers scattered quickly, so since I was the only idiot left standing there, guess who he picked? I was in middle school when I won third place at some accordion championship; sadly, I can’t remember the name of the classical piece I played. I quit soon after the competition when it occurred to me that the accordion wasn’t exactly bringing all the boys into my yard. I’m asked all the time: if I gave you an accordion right now, could you play it? Answer: yes. Sadly, yes. With no problem.
2. I have two tattoos. A gecko on my right foot, and the Icelandic word for “adventure” on the inside of my left wrist.
3. I can sing and dance. I was in New Jersey All-State Chorus. And right out of college I tried out to be a dancing cocktail waitress in this bar in Staten Island, and some famous dance dude picked me to dance with him all night on top of a stage. It was quite an honor, I was told, because he only danced with “the best.” Anyway, I got the job, but never worked there. I don’t remember why, it was so long ago.
4. I love roller coasters. And water parks. When you travel as a family, one parent stays with the baby while the other parent takes the older kids down the big slides, right? I counted the days until I didn’t have to be the parent staying on the ground. I still love slides and coasters.
5. I’m deathly afraid of crickets. My parents had my bedroom redone when I was a teenager, and the construction let the crickets in. Their chirping and panicked jumping terrified me, and to this day, their noises make my skin crawl. I love my pest company so much because they keep the crickets out.
6. My favorite movie is “Jaws.” If I’m home and it’s on, I’m watching it, even if I’m working and it’s only on in the background. I will watch it three times in one day if it is on three times in one day. I have to. It’s tradition.
7. When they put Marley to sleep at the end of “Marley and Me” was the hardest I’ve ever cried at a movie. Destroyed me. Destroyed our whole family. I can never watch that again.
8. I took my three sons to the movie “Ted” when my youngest was ten years old, thinking it was a family movie about a teddy bear. A woman in our row kept craning her neck to look at me, and I thought for sure she was going to call DYFS on me. Even once I realized the inappropriate nature of it, I’m pretty sure we stayed for the whole thing. Great flick, one of our family favorites. Our sense of humor is quite twisted,
9. I’m currently injured. Never in my entire life has an injury actually physically prevented me from accomplishing mundane daily tasks, like reaching. I must have pulled something in my shoulder (or bicep or tricep, different parts hurt at different times) at the gym, then like the dummy I am, I did not rest it. Of course I should go and get it checked out, X-rayed or something, but ignoring physical ailments is part of what makes me me- you know, a pain in the ass.
10. I have a gargantuan life-changing trip coming up in four weeks. This is the kind of trip where once there, I will think to myself, “Why can’t you just be normal and enjoy taking a leisurely bike ride on the boardwalk?” My friend Carolyn and I are counting the days. I may come home, I may not. And if you hope I don’t return, why are you reading my blog? Sheesh. Anyway, I have four weeks to prepare mentally and physically, so again, bear with me.