Audi Console Message:
“You’re running low on gas. Would you like me to find you a nearby gas station to refuel?”
Mary spins knob, pushes, “No.”
5 minutes later:
“Um, you’re running really low on gas. Would you like me to find you a nearby gas station to refuel?”
Spins and pushes. “No.”
5 minutes later:
“You’ll need gas in 30 miles. It’s very important that you let me find you a nearby gas station to refuel. Want me to?”
Me: “No.”
5 miles later:
“Yo, dumbass, you need gas in 25 miles. Let me find you a gas station, PLEASE.”
“No.”
5 miles later:
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME FIND YOU A GAS STATION.”
Me: “NO!”
5 miles later:
“You will run out of gas in 15 miles, you dumb bitch. I’ve tried to reason with you, but you don’t listen. When you run out of gas, don’t come crying to me, I did everything I could. I will not be held responsible. Are you sure you don’t want me to find you a gas station to refuel?”
“No.”
5 miles later:
“Ten miles to go. Where are you? Are you in the desert? On a dark country road? I’m sorry I called you a ‘dumb bitch,’ I’m here for you. Are you safe? Can you get to a nearby refueling station?”
“No.”
5 miles later:
“You’re running on fumes. This is it. The end. I failed you. If I could take back all of the things I said, I would. But it’s too late. Be well, and never forget that I always loved you.”
Mary sails into a gas station with plenty of gas to spare, and Audi perks up.
“I had faith in you the whole time, I never doubted you for a minute.”