Blogging about The Slap is probably a dumb idea, but I can’t help myself. I’m so conflicted.
I’m not in love with Hollywood, but more of the frame of mind right now that they are a bunch of privileged assholes. I did not watch the Oscars. I wouldn’t be caught dead. But the two men involved in The Slap are near and dear to my heart.
I love Will. I love Chris. I feel like two of my sons just got in a fight, and I’m worried that they’re mad at each other. Let me address The Slap with a series of questions, so I can work out my own internal conflict about it:
Did Chris know about Jada’s hair loss condition? He has publicly commented that he didn’t. But if he did, was the joke really crossing the line? Is calling her GI Jada really that bad?
Why is JPS so special that she is off-limits? And why go to the Oscars if you can’t take the heat? All stars get roasted at the Oscars, it’s part of it.
Why did Will laugh at first, then get angry? Because he looked at Jada’s expression? How could he have reacted better?
Does Will really think he set a good example for his children?
Did Will slap all of Jada’s lovers, too?
Is Will o.k.? He looked like a physical and emotional wreck. Laughing, then fighting, then weeping, then partying later. I think Will needs some serious help.
Was there underlying tension between Chris and Will before The Slap? Are they friends? Enemies? Neither?
Did Chris tell Will ahead of time he was going to make the joke, and Will told him not to, but Chris did anyway?
How is Chris feeling? More importantly, what was Adam Sandler’s reaction to The Slap? I’d love to hear what he thinks about it, as Chris Rock is his best friend.
Will Chris change his mind about pressing charges?
Will Will be barred from attending the Oscars in the future?
If it had been a different star than Will Smith, would they have been arrested?
Is Will’s award besmirched? Does he feel regret?
Will he be stripped of his Oscar?
Did Will and Chris already settle this amiably between them, as reported by a mutual friend?
Is Chris classy enough to realize he has just received a lifetime’s worth of free material?
What does Chris’s family think?
Are more people on Will’s or Chris’s side? Hollywood is supposedly pro-Chris.
How could The Slap have played out better?
I have an answer for the last one. After the GI Jada joke, Jada should have stood up with all of her gorgeousness, flashed that million-dollar smile, raised those beautiful toned arms in the air, and gotten a standing ovation. She could have shown her children, her colleagues, her husband and the world that not only has she gotten through a terrible condition, but she did it with style, class and humor. Will would have looked at her with love and admiration, and been able to enjoy the moment of watching the world celebrate the mother of his children.
So she’s bald, big deal. She could have been the class act of the night.
Just how I see it.