Never grocery shop when hangry. Bad things happen. This was last week:
Product: PF Chang frozen fried rice
Argument: No! It’s too expensive. You can make this yourself so easily!
Rationale: Ready in 4 min. Convenient. I’m buying it.
Product: Pork shoulder.
Argument: What the hell are you going to do with that?
Rationale: Make split pea soup. Clear a spot, I’m buying it.
Product: Lifesaver gummies
Argument: Seriously?
Rationale: In the scheme of things, it’s the least damaging candy. I’m getting it.
Product: Julienned pre-cut carrots.
Argument: You’re going to spend almost ten dollars when you can cut them yourself?
Rationale: Look how cute they are, cut like this. Getting ‘em.
Product: Pub snack mix.
Argument: You will never eat these. You know you won’t.
Rationale: But they taste so good with gin-and-tonics at the bar. Yep.
Product: Cinnamon-raisin bread.
Argument: You’re off bread.
Rationale: That was yesterday. Move it.
Product: Cauliflower pizza
Argument: That’s vomitous.
Rationale: But Oprah made it.
Product: Blue-cheese stuffed olives.
Argument: That’s a big jar.
Rationale: It’s cost efficient.
Son, leaving to go back to city, raiding the kitchen: “Mom, can I really take anything back with me?”
Me: “Take it all.”