(These seven bullets originally appeared on BusinessInsider.com, before showing up on travelandleisure.com).
So there are apparently seven things people who are good with money never buy. Since I am always trying to improve my mindset and relationship with money and investing, I read the article to see how my financial literacy (or lack thereof) fared.
Maybe you are a woman reading this right now, and you are in charge of your household finances. Bravo! But you are in the minority. Statistics say that most women take care of the domestic end of the household, while their husbands handle the financial end.
This was my situation. If it’s not yours, then it’s not yours, so don’t get those panties wadded. Of course I know men help raise children, and know where the vacuum is. Of course I know that women can use a checkbook and often appear on the cover of Forbes. Sheesh. My point simply is that in most American households, men handle the finances.
(Remember the ol’ days, when you could say or write something without worrying that some nimrod who doesn’t know how to read or reason would get offended? Let’s bring back Archie Bunker and George Jefferson. They were the collective reason why an entire generation (read, ME) is in(un?)offendable).
Here are the seven things that people “good with money” supposedly don’t buy. Some I agree with, some I don’t.
People good with money don’t buy brand new cars. Disagree. We all know the statistics: a new car loses 10% of its value in the first month, and 20% of its value in the first year. But what does that mean, and who cares? Everything eventually loses value. The only things that don’t lose value over time are love, brandy and precious metals. And FYI, I know plenty of people who are good with money who buy a new car. Then they proceed to take good care of it, and keep it for a long time. The point is to KEEP it, right?
People good with money don’t lease new cars over and over. Agree. This one hit personally, since my Audi is leased, so let me defend myself by saying that I got the thumbs-up on the leasing of my car from my father, the most conservative and financially-frugal tightwad on the face of the earth. It’s why he and my late Hub got along so well. If my father said leasing was a good idea, then daggonit, it was. My father leased many cars through his lifetime, never had a bad experience, and has educated me deeply on the advantages of leasing. But even I know that leasing a new car over and over is financially irresponsible.
People good with money don’t buy houses they can’t afford. Agree. I saw an ad on the local Patch that advertised a house for TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS. I laughed out loud. Who in their right mind would pay 12 million dollars for a house, even if it was affordable? I don’t get the preoccupation with big fancy houses, but that’s just me. I’d personally use the twelve mill to buy a bunch of small condos in all of my favorite cities.
People good with money don’t buy things on credit they can’t afford. Agree and disagree. I don’t buy anything (if I can help it) unless in the back of my mind I know I have the money for it. I use my credit cards strategically- to get travel miles and points towards hotels and rental cars. It’s time-consuming, but parlaying credit card points and miles is a great way to offset the cost of travel and purchases. But sometimes using a credit card for a big purchase is necessary for career or education, something that will eventually return the investment.
People good with money don’t buy luxury goods from brand-name designers. Agree and disagree. This is a toughie, because the definition of “brand name designers” depends on who you are or where you live. One woman might feel couture in a dress from Marshalls, another in Club Monaco, while another in Chanel. One man might feel dressed up in a clean t-shirt and jeans, and another wears a shirt and tie to church. My kind of guy. Either way, to each his own.
In one of my favorite movies Crazy Stupid Love, Steve Carrell plays an awkward forty-something man whose wife wants a divorce. As he’s getting used to life as newly single, he meets the dashing, smooth-talking character played by Ryan Gosling who takes Carrell under his wing. In one particularly funny scene, Carrell shows up for a style “lesson” wearing khakis and running shoes. Gosling, dressed sharply, looks him over with disgust.
“Are you Steve Jobs?” asked Gosling.
“Uh, no,” said Carrell.
“Are you the CEO of Apple?” asked Gosling.
“No, I’m not,” said Carrell.
“Then you have no business wearing New Balance running shoes,” said Gosling as he took the shoes and threw them over a railing.
Steve Jobs was notorious for wearing sneakers, jeans and black turtlenecks. But let me tell you that before Steve Jobs became Steve Jobs, he dressed to impress. Here’s a well-known story: During his 12-year absence from Apple from 1985 to 1997 Steve Jobs started NeXT. One day he was heading to the bank to ask for a loan and his partner showed up to Steve’s house in blue jeans. Steve told him to put on a suit (or borrow one of his). “Why?” his partner asked. Steve Jobs looked at him levelly and said, “Because we’re going to the bank today.”
At a leadership conference a few years back the speaker, a military hero, said that leadership starts from the minute you walk into the door. Your “subordinates” (your team, employees, partners) are sizing you up based on your body language and how you look. “Always dress a little better than everybody else,” he said. Amen. If I had only $100.00 left to my name, and I had to decide between a week’s worth of groceries or a new outfit for say, an interview or an important career outing, I’d take the clothes. Dressing well is my mantra, a deeply-help personal belief, and the subject of my TED talk in 2022.
People good with money don’t load up on material goods. Agree. Period. I have what I want, I love what I have, and I want for nothing. It is said that people good with money are supposedly capable of “actively unplugging from consumerism.” I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I unplug from consumerism, because I do like to shop. But I don’t fill my house or my closet or my life with piles of cheap shit, including men.
And lastly:
People good with money don’t plan lavish weddings. Disagree. When I got engaged, my father sat me and my late Hub down and told us we could have “the wedding,” or the money. We both chose the wedding. People still remember our wedding. It was fantastic, and the right choice for us at the time. I’d still choose the wedding, but maybe a smaller one. Both of my beautiful nieces chose small-scale weddings- one on the beach, where everyone was barefoot. And one in Princeton, at a sophisticated small venue. Not because of money, but because it was a personal choice. So if a girl has always dreamed of a big fancy fairy-tale wedding, and Daddy is willing to pay for it, it doesn’t mean they’re financially foolhardy.
Just spoiled. As all beautiful young brides should be.