I was speaking to a member of my media team last month, and he said something prescient that I haven’t forgotten.
We had been speaking about my appearance at a small business expo, and this led to a discussion about my book, my platform, and my options moving forward. He wanted me to push through, ride aggressively the wave of my recent activity, and take some new risks.
But he sensed my hesitancy. And pounced.
I voiced my belief that perhaps it is time for me to step back and reassess. Regroup. Reevaluate. I have enjoyed both mild and major professional successes this past year, and with my father on the downslide and my taking a break from travel for the summer, I want to just stop.
Stop. Stop pushing and grinding and forcing and insisting. Not to stop succeeding. I’ll never stop succeeding. But to take breath. A break from fighting and struggling against the tide rather than letting it carry me in. Enjoy some new personal relationships, give my attention to people, rather than words. Ride the wave of my TED talk, accept a national writing award in Ohio in the fall, maybe do some private writing that no one will ever see until it’s on the screen. Let the storm build behind me.
He disagreed, obviously.
“Now is not the time to stop,” he said. He sent me a link of some woman my age who puts out Tik Tok videos where she dances and meditates and offers life coaching.
“Tik Tok,” he said, “it’s fun! That might be just the thing for you, Mary. You have the personality for it.”
Tik Tok the thing for me? My personality? Humoring him, I checked out her account, and it was just so sad and desperate. I watched this old woman trying so hard to be relevant, when she just…wasn’t.
I once sent in a writing sample for a lifestyle blog, just for fun, and the editor responded by telling me it was funny, but showed I didn’t really understand meta, SEO and data capture.
She was right. And I don’t care about meta, SEO and data capture. Or social media, or visits, or followers, or numbers. I’m done. The world continues to become more complicated, more technological, and more counterfeit. So I’m pulling back.
Even this blog will change soon. Drastically, most likely before the close of 2022. Chrysalis Collective will eventually go back on the road, and will morph. How, I don’t know. But I have some ideas.
Until then, I’ll be posting three blogs a week. Thanks for floating with me.