I write so much about positivity, that readers forget I get cranky too. Just because someone is self-actualized and free of societal toxicity doesn’t mean they don’t still occasionally get annoyed. Here are five things I recently pulled on my cranky pants for:
HUMIDITY. I had an actual temper tantrum the other day because the air was 99% humidity as I plodded across campus to my class. I wondered where the 1% was, and how hard it would be to get to it, stand in it, and revel in it. By the time you read this, the humidity has probably broken, but I was really mad that day as I could actually watch my blown-out hair crinkle up.
PATIO CUSHIONS. I think they’ve had it. For the tenth consecutive early fall, my gorgeous crepe myrtle tree has deposited leaves and buds onto the cushions. Then when it rains or is very humid, the foliage sort of, like, melts onto the cushions. No matter how vigilant I am about sweeping them off and wiping them down, I’m not willing to quit my job in order to protect them, which is what I would have to do. I’ll store them neatly again in a few weeks, but I don’t know if they can withstand anymore abuse.
AT&T. I’m not quite distanced enough from what happened last week to tell the story objectively and coherently, but I promise to regale you with it soon. Abominable.
JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING. I cannot spend my fall there, not this fall, at least. I’m grounded, for the time being. But next fall I’ll be there, and my friend from Wyoming had better stop sending me pictures of lakes and mountains, or I’m going to kick his ass. He knows how jealous I am, and does it on purpose.
MY SONS. I’m joking, they rarely get me cranky, I just wanted to mention three of the best-looking, smart, accomplished, funny human beings on Earth who bang in and out of the house to-and-from their busy lives, reminding me that no matter what I do for the rest of my life, they are and will always be MY GREATEST WORK. Love you guys.