A client asked me last night, “What’s your secret?”
Take that as you will.
I will answer today with some advice from the Stoics. Here are seven things the Stoics implore humans never do:
Don’t be overheard complaining. I don’t complain about relationships, the weather, myself, life, people, and money, and never, ever, ever around people at work. Maybe I’ll quietly vent a little with a close friend or a family member, but even these small lapses from joy can mar a day. I keep my words and language clear, positive and consistent. Don’t go by my writing, as I am a humorist, and complaining is all in good fun and funnier than sunshine and rainbows.
Don’t talk more than you listen. I have out-of-body experiences when dealing with clients, and lose myself in their stories, their words, and their lifeforce. If they try to bring the conversation back to me, I answer politely and immediately bring it back to them. I actually find myself incredibly boring but hysterical, which is amusing when you consider the fact that this is my personal blog.
Don’t tie your identity to things you own. I used to tell my students who would complain about where they lived, or how they dressed to never define themselves by such things. Same goes for possessions like boats and vacation houses and businesses. Who cares? Live from inside.
Don’t compare yourself to others. I am not intimidated about walking into any room. Not a room filled with billionaires, not a room filled with famous athletes, not a room filled with great writers. I compare myself to no one.
Don’t judge others. Speaks for itself. He who is without sin throw the first stone?
Don’t suffer imagined troubles. Ninety-percent of our problems are in our minds. I ask myself: what problems do I have right now? Usually the answer is: None. How lucky am I not receive a phone call that my child has a terminal illness? Live for the moment, not what you think might happen.
Don’t overindulge. Not in food, alcohol, sex (tough one), clothing (tougher!!). Be content with a little.
A little goes a long way.